My Brain Is Still Turned On

I have been a little tuned out from a lot lately. I have quit something that I had a lot of hope for, I am trying to find something new and I am planning something potentially big in my head. I need something radical of most likely, my own creation, to be a part of and I have not quite fully formed it yet so there is that floating around too. Basically, it is the end of summer and the beginning of fall and I’m never much good then anyways. 

 

But there is a guest blogger at Feministe and I am looking forward to the posts. This struck me, right off the bat. There is more to the post but I pulled a little section. It is where I am and where the others I am looking for will need to be too:

“See, I can refuse to admit vulnerability, but that won’t make me not vulnerable.  There is nothing that can do that, not even covering myself up with layers and layers of the armor we all use to get through the day and pretending away the ugly things and the hard parts of my history and everyone else’s.  This isn’t about complaining.  I’m just stating facts that are, yes, relevant to who I am, why I participate in feminism and the greater movement toward social justice, why and how and what I write and contribute.  Pretending it isn’t so forces me into a strange and inhuman position where we just posture at each other.  You’re not vulnerable, I’m not vulnerable, let’s have an abstract debate about theories, and hey, justify your feelings, andhey, little lady, the grownups are talking and why are you so upset and comeback, we were just having a friendly little debate about ideas, and what do youmean this is real life for you?

Social justice is about theories and ideas underpinning our actions, but if those theories and ideas are to mean anything, they have to be grounded in our real lives.  They have to pay attention to what happens to us, and what can hurt us, and why some things–like a seemingly-innocent comment, like a sudden noise, like a bigoted slur, like making it through a day of work or classes when the only thing in your head is the rape you may never be over or how you’re going to be able to feed your children this month or when the water is getting shut off or just that thing your parents said that will never stop eating at you–affect some of us more than others.  A functional movement isn’t one like the one we have, where people burn out and drop out and vanish because it’s all too much and they aren’t being supported and they just can’t take it any more, where everything we do is met with all of us tearing each other apart and always always always going for the throat until we stop being people to each other and start being…adversaries?  interlocutors?  enemies?  objects?  Have you noticed who suffers when we build a movement premised on never admitting that we can hurt each other, on never admitting that we’re tired and limited and human and just aren’t up for it today?  Who stops making blog posts, who stops showing up to meetings and town halls and community projects, stops putting their work out there and speaking openly and honestly?  Who stops making friends?  Who stops taking risks?  Have you noticed what happens in a world where we do this?  Where we never talk about what weneed, let alone what we want, all while we’re told all day what we should buy instead?

We fight an impossible battle against troubles we don’t even admit exist.  We focus on enemies, and neglect ourselves and our loved ones, lose track of what we’re for in a storm of obsession with what we’re against.  We don’t let it get to us, until it does.  And then we go down in flames and everyone has to start over.

Can we do something different, start from different premises?  Like:  I’m hurting right now.  Like:  I can’t do everything.  Like:  I get tired and hungry and scared and confused.  Like:  I’m grieving.  Like:  I’m human, and human beings are vulnerable, and I can be hurt, and I can hurt others.  Like:  if we’re all going to make it, we have to do this together, and that means being vulnerable, and we can either choose to avert our eyes from that fact or we can embrace it and build something more compassionate, more functional, that makes our lives different for the better.

Like:  let’s let vulnerability be radical.  Let’s embrace it.  Let’s admit that even the best things in the world are unsafe and go into it with open eyes and held hands.

We can choose make it work, or we can choose not to.  I am going to spend my two weeks here choosing to try to be as vulnerable with you all as I possibly can, and maybe some of you will feel more able to be vulnerable, too.  A dear friend told me once that writing is like getting up in front of people, pulling open your ribcage, and saying, here are my organs.  I hope you like them.” – Lovers In A Dangerous Time @ Feministe

 

Why Sex Work Activism is Important

because we, as a collective whole, like to ignore sex workers basic human rights on a daily basis…. like their right to safety, right to proper heath care, right to feel comfortable discussing their work, right to not feel objectified by the media, right to suitable legal aid and many many more things that those who arent sex workers take for granted. check out this great guest blog post by Audacia Ray.

i am also a big fan of this organization, The Sex Workers Project, whos director is Andrea Ritchie. She wrote one of my favorite articles, Law Enforcement Violence Against Women of Color in The Color of Violence, an anthology published by South End Press.

The C Street House, Secret Fundamentalists and Rape

my girlfriend led me to a super disturbing article on www.salon.com today about a group of republicans that receive secret guidance from a fundamentalist group known as The Family. Organized by Douglas Coe, they are Evanzelical in belief ( RED FLAG!!! hello JESUS CAMP DOCUMENTARY… have you seen it??) they believe they are chosen people, have an admiration for Nazi’s and follow a leader who has said shit like this:

“Jesus says, ‘You have to put me before other people, and you have to put me before yourself.’ Hitler, that was the demand of the Nazi Party. You have to put the Nazi Party and its objectives in front of your own life and ahead of other people!”

“I’ve seen pictures of young men in the Red Guard of China, a table laid out like a butcher table, they would bring in this young man’s mother and father, lay her on the table with a basket on the end, he would take an axe and cut her head off.”

“They have to put the purposes of the Red Guard ahead of the mother-father-brother-sister—their own life !”

“That was a covenant. A pledge. That was what Jesus said.”

 

Hillary Clinton has also chosen him and his “Family” as her spiritual advisor in the past. they run tons of shit in washington d.c and have raised a crap load of money for campaigns and political leaders. Douglas Coe has also hosted the the gala annual National Prayer Breakfast in d.c. which  is organized by 33 members of Congress who belong to a “well-connected but secretive Christian group called the Fellowship Foundation“.( Sound creepy? it is. Please see this article again. in the Salon.com article, in relaying a story about what it means to be “chosen” and the perks one receives with this unearned privilege, this story was shared by Coe:

“he asked a young man who’d put himself, body and soul, under the Family’s authority, “Let’s say I hear you raped three little girls. What would I think of you?” The man guessed that Coe would probably think that he was a monster. “No,” answered Coe, “I wouldn’t.” Why? Because, as a member of the Family, he’s among what Family leaders refer to as the “new chosen.” If you’re chosen, the normal rules don’t apply. “

i guess normal rules mean a conviction, jail time or maybe just having the intelligence and restraint to not rape in the first place. But of course, that would mean that these men would have to acknowledge that they aren’t “chosen” and that everything in theis world isn’t just for the damn taking. and unfortunately, whether or not you are part of the Family… rules often don’t apply. But hiding behind self-proclaimed christian fundamentalism, hand crafted right wing spiritual guidance and political power doesn’t mean you are chosen or mean you get to opt out of working towards solutions. It only means you are contributing to the larger issue. You are contributing to the rape culture we all live in and only some of us are working actively to end. 

Oh Canada

apparently, canada thinks teen girls are sluts and would rather just throw money at the problem and ask girls to cover up in order to solve the issue of sexual violence. but dont worry, they will also promote “solid values”, promise “not to blame the victim” and will help “boys and girls ‘understand the harmful effects of the skewed images of GIRLS found in popular culture.’ “. sounds like one big VICTIM BLAMING CAMPAIGN to me. it really has nothing to do with how young boys are conditioned or raised, i am sure. did i mention they are funding it $ 355, 000? geez louise.

“Yesterday is Simply What I Was…”

there are so many good things being said and done. i got on this great click click trail of internet blogging and looking today and i had to take you with me on it. i started by becoming friends with INCITE! Women of Color Against Violence on Facebook because they, as a collective, have written two of my most treasured and thought provoking books. 

1. the color of violence

2. the revolution will not be funded

if your brain tells you that we “have come a long way” or “we are all equal” or ” we dont need to be doing the work that we do anymore because look at allllll the big changes that have been made in the world”, read 1 page at any point in either of these books and then TRY to stop reading another one. and then try to sit still after. i cant.

then i got funneled into a blog that was great because they had a post up about this walk for rape awareness in san francisco. since i have been doing my own work in sexual violence prevention, counseling and fundraising ive done a bunch of shit ( skydiving, interviewing for a documentary, community work etc) but i still want a huuuuuge city-wide fucking walk and i want a megaphone protest. cause honestly, we are at a crossroads, nationally and internationally and i think we have done too much pleading, we have been too quiet and we have done a lot af ASKING. we need to start demanding and we might need to stop being nice. we need to stop giving consent to the shit that happens on the regular and start letting everyone know what will be allowed and what wont be allowed. what we like and what we dont like. i want a riot.

i like the idea of a nice huge walk through the city. a march. and i love that it was written from the p.o.v. of a male ally who had a lot of important things to say. and he was working his ass off to get other men out there. 

and then i got to hear/watch staceyann chin perform “feminist or womanist” and i cried. im afraid of those black lines around me too.

Womanist and Feminist

ive been a feminist for a long time but some feminists have some work to do. ive recently been reading up on womanism but womanists have some work to do too. if we can, as a whole, start to see our commonalities while recognizing our differences and our privilege, i think we can get some real work done. but then again, im talking from a place of privilege, as i have never had to walk into a room where my color was seen first, and my strength as a woman, 2nd. (thanks n) thats hard to hear but true.

that being said, i think this blog at Womanist Musings says it best… it made me squirm a little but its partly because i think each and every person does usually hold some form of privilege (and sometimes many forms) and in order to do real work and have real discussions, you have to own up to it and let some of the feeling that comes with it go.

i cant pretend to get it but im gonna work damn hard to be an ally where i can and challenge the systems that hold down.

It Takes More Than a Few Strong Women

i have been getting my hands dirty with a lot of sexual violence prevention work lately and i have got my issues with the lot of it. being that it is something that i hold near and dear to me, i have a very hard time verbalizing what the hell i am trying to say but i think the what i am trying to say does have merit. i do have some core beliefs when it comes to sexual violence and i will list them out here and they will be discussed further at different times throughout this blog. if you can educate me in a factual and non-demeaning way, you can do so in the comments section.

sexual violence is NOT caused by gentrification.

alcohol and substance abuse is not a cause or an excuse. it does however lower inhibitions but the difference is a PRESENCE of a sexual violator.

the community does not have all the answers, the violator does. 

sexual violence occurs because we live in a male dominated society and men take from females and other men.

sexual violence is about power and control.

 

i am reading a book right now that studies incarcerated rapists in the 70’s and although i expect that this book will present many limitations, it also offers a few key views that i don’t feel are often shown to much of the work done in sexual violence prevention. i know that the attempt is already there, but through our words, we still do many of the things we try not to. often the “feminist tendency to focus on women’s experience of rape [does] not go far enough to challenge the prevailing assumption that sexual violence is the result of an individual, idiosyncratic disease.” (Diana Scully)

also, i feel like focusing on women and the community at large does not “constitute enough of a threat to the sexually violent male world in which we live because women are not the clue to men’s sexual violence . in fact, focusing on women can lead to blaming the victim and to perceiving rape as women’s, rather than men’s, problem.” (Diana Scully) -Understanding Sexual Violence

we talk about working with men and boys, we talk about education and we talk about making valuable and systematic changes but do we really? do we not just fall back in to old stereotypes of who is doing it and why and where? work back into asking women what they can do to help? plan events like bake sales and craft fairs? invite more women to do the work that we should all be doing? speak to large groups of women about the injustice rather than ask large groups of men who violate us in subway cars and with their sex organs why they do it? 

i want a fucking riot.

if we all really thought about it… really really thought about it and listened to the people that were doing it, we would know that it wasnt because we were moving into the “wrong” neighborhood. i refuse to believe that.

People Really Have a Hard Time

with human rights. 

here is a “response” to all of the posts my friend becky and i were doing on tavi’s rei kawakubo blog yesterday when i found out she doesn’t consider herself a feminist. the convo went completely off track because i actually got caught up talking to some scumbag in the comment section but my opinion still stands. feminism is about women being treated as humans. so its a fucking human rights issue. 

 

becky found this poem written on Karl Lagerfeld’s Guide to Life.

and here it is. its written by “rei kawakubo”. who knows. im proud to be a “bra burner” cause i dont follow those dumb fuckin sterotypes anyways.

THURSDAY, JUNE 11, 2009

feminist
i am not a feminist.
some bra burners on tavi’s blog say i am
a feminist
i am not
i am a journalist
with my pad and pen
presenting the news

i have ten potatoes
and one plate
and ten gongs

feminists offend me
i prefer polka dots
hug a polka dot today
adopt one,
too

feminists do not have gongs

and my bra is in tact
they’re expensive
models wear none

(are models feminists?)
POSTED BY REI KAWAKUBO AT 11:21 PM
LABELS: REI

Feminism is Synonymous with Human Rights

for me at least. and since our human rights are skewed and power and control are not equally divided among us all, a lot of work needs to be done to get there. our hate is running rampid (here, here, here, here) and our poverty and socio-economic divide in the US and all over the world is so fucked up, one can’t possibly tell me that anything is levelling out. women dont have more power and control over their own lives. they are not even in the same game yet. feminism is still relevant. 

rei kawakubo, from commes des garcons doesn’t think so. 

 

NOT a Feminist

 

““I really felt that I was on my own. I never felt my work had anything to do with being a woman. I am not a feminist. I was never interested in any movement as such. I just decided to make a company built around creation, and with creation as my sword, I could fight the battles I wanted to fight.”

 

quite honestly, feminism hardly has a damn thing with being JUST a  woman, rei. men can be feminists. aliens can be feminists. it has a little something to do with being a human. that deserves human things. like those other humans get. you might be familiar with them, they’re called men. so lets restate it. it means that women deserve the same things that men get. respect… sexual safety and autonomy, the same pay for the same work, control over their bodies, freedom from systematic abuse and control etc. etc. etc. you can’t fight those battles with fabric. i went to school for fashion design. i already tried that route. i have worked in fashion. im grossed out by fashion at large. its a love hate relationship. but the love hate relationship took on new levels when my friend becky brought me into a battle over the importance of feminism in all lines of work and all walks of life today. 

the article on this site highlight rei’s unique point of view and her individuality but did bring up the quote about how she does not see herself a a feminist. the madness started with this comment:

KNOCKOUT CLOTHING said…

Her stance on feminism makes perfect sense to me. Women have come a long, long way in the past 100 years. Sure, we still have some progress to make, but for the most part there’s equal opportunity amongst the sexes, imo. At least in the modern world.

Unfortunately, many self-proclaimed feminists in recent years take a woman SUPERIOR stance, and it’s for that reason that many women dodge the feminist label like the plague. Worse yet are self proclaimed ‘feminists’ who’ve latched on to the term as a means to market to young girls AND justify their bimbo images at once. 

It’s not about gender crusading anymore, it’s about being reckognised for your work as an individual – regardless of what gender you may be. She’s such a revolutionary, and revolutions are about breaking down barriers – not erecting them : ). 

But anyway……. BLACK!!! Should be amazing indeed.

xoxo, SarahJayne @ Knockout Vintage Clothing

 

and then got increasingly hostile with a bunch of comments from someone named “Vermine” and my friend becky.

Vermine said…

Rei doesn’t endorse feminism because it’s littered with bitter cunts (yeah pun) too blind to see they fight fights that are already won and that their bitching is in reality only slowing things down and does actually more harm than good.

They should read ” The psychology of the slave” by Nietzsche. Feeble, mediocre, and “slave” personnalities constantly bitch and bark. Powerful ones remain silent and instead do, act and create.

“The will to power”, you want to read this shit, mafakas.

As far as story telling my Sunday outfits are plenty dense.
Shirt tells I had Martini Rosso, jacket apparently and subtely evocates some pizza, overall silhouette suggests I smoked quite a bit, collars personnifies a blue lipstick kiss, how poetic can a collar be, and the “prolly slept on the concrete in front of my doorstep” touch is totally conceptualized by the hole in my pocket. 

Sunday morning outfits FTW.

Becky said…

Ugh..Knockout Clothing and Vermine and Rei too…it is so annoying that you are ashamed of being labeled “feminists” 
I’m sorry Tavi, to rain on your Rei parade, but really. I designed clothing for a huge company and about 99% of the other shittily paid employees were woman. Guess what…the billionaire CEO and board members were all men. Sara Jayne needs to get her facts straight because this is unfortunately the norm in most companies including including the fashion industry. Woman are still getting paid less than men for the same jobs.
I consider myself to be moderate, but facts are facts. 
I think its really sad that Rei does not consider herself a feminist. I do think she is a genius and I love my Odeur 53 perfume and hope it never goes out of production

Vermine said…

Becky, honey, do you think thousands of years of male domination, cultural tendencies (girls are more inclined to learn fashion related jobs than men which is btw one of the main reason 99% of the shitty paid employees are women, because well… most employees are women… Also about the CEO stuff of course there’s discrimination but there’s also a lot more men who study marketing and economy than women. I’m not even talking about pure biological aspects of things. Do you think men’s hands are better suited to sew pearls and that women’s hands are the tits to build roads, yeah… Another interesting fact is recent studies have found that women who have high responsabilities jobs generally have a more masculine shoulders to waist ratio, broader shoulders. Which means hormones levels are also a part of the equation. So yeah things arn’t as simplistic as a fucking feminist manifesto.) so yeah, do you really think all this is gonna be reversed in the blink of an eye?

It’s been going really fast already lately. 

Perspective, the big picture etc…

Of course it would be nice if it could be faster but you gotta give time to time ya know?

And barking only makes things slower.

Never bitch. Act.

Becky said…

You think that broad shoulders make you a man? You think that speaking out doesn’t = action? You think gender is a result of cultural “tendencies” and not social constructions? You think that by writing that rant you aren’t “barking”? You think you aren’t a hypocrite? Vermaine, honey, go to college.

Vermine said…

Barky, my little fart, yeah let’s speak about college. And skillz for that matter.

I’ll ride this thematic since your post is absolutely empty of any arguments. Just a bunch of irrelevant questions clusterfucking the hell of why I wrote. Obvz reading wasn’t your master degree.

” You think that broad shoulders make you a man? “
Nope. Not why I wrote. I’m getting fed up quick here with your myopia but briefly: shoulders girth is a marker of testosterone levels. Hormones and behaviours are closely linked. Go read.

” You think that speaking out doesn’t = action? “ 
You really don’t get it dontcha? Action =/= reaction. Words, they mean things. Don’t spend energy saying you don’t like something, CREATE something that destroys what you don’t like. Which is what Rei did. She didn’t spoke out about women having rights and needing equality. She created something that shows it can be achieved. Waaaaay better. Unkle K said it in other words: “It’s her work that matters- not what she labels herself.”
Create, show. Cut the smoke screen sterile blahblah. 

” You think gender is a result of cultural “tendencies” and not social constructions? “
My goodness, we’re so far away from what I wrote I don’t even know how we got there… 

” You think that by writing that rant you aren’t “barking”? “
I see arithmetics wasn’t your master degree neither. When you bark at someone barking it annulates the negative content of one’s barking. Elementary.

” You think you aren’t a hypocrite? “
If I am what you ASSume I am, I logically can’t honestly answer that q. So don’t ask.

Yeah, college, you’re one fucking college text book case of a blind, deaf, monologing, “moderate” (this adjunction is hilarious) feminist who can’t effin read life.

Alright enough. I already spent too much of my precious time on that shit. So did you. I also won’t respond to any hypothetical response so don’t sweat it.

Kiss and have a good life. Sincerely.

and then i jump in, cause honestly this person needs some education. 

the work of a common woman said…

vermine, 6:28 am? on a fashion blog? 

for the record, rei didn’t topple male domination with the clean cut of a well designed dress. she is a fashion designer for christ sakes. at the end of the day, nothing more.

 Vermine said…

Time zone? Anyone? Bueller?

“the work of a common woman” it pains me to write this but that was actually the point of the whole article: Rei is more than a fashion designer.

the work of a common woman said…

“I just decided to make a company built around creation, and with creation as my sword, I could fight the battles I wanted to fight.”

what is she? a community organizer? a human rights activist? i feel the scars of the rwandan genocide melting away. those 20,000+ children born of systematic rape as a weapon of war because women are still seen as a possession to be conquered can feel the effect of that rei kawakabo’s body of work. im sure of it. 

i enjoy fashion and particularly rei kawakabo, in it’s place. but to trump any woman who states she isn’t a feminist is wrong. feminism is a human rights issue. its treating women as humans.

god. dealing with ignorance and hate is a dailyfuckingfrustration. 

Tarantino is a Control Freak

 

In Death Proof

 

 

and then by chance i found this old little snippet by rosario dawson talking about how he IS a control freak and how she had issues with her characters role in the rape scene in “death proof“. 

heres what she had to say:

Dawson Upset with ‘Death Proof’ Rape Scene

HOLLYWOOD - Rosario Dawson challenged moviemakerQuentin Tarantino on the set of her new movie Death Proof after he made her character leave a friend to get raped. 

The feminist actress admits she had huge problems with the scene because she felt one woman wouldn’t leave another behind if she felt she was in harm’s way–but controlling Tarantino refused to listen to her complaints. 

Dawson says, “I talked to Quentin about it several times, because I had a huge problem with leaving her there: ‘I don’t leave that girl behind; I love that girl, we’re friends.’ 

“Quentin says, ‘No,’ (and) I say, ‘Can I throw her the keys to the car?’ and he says, ‘No, you can’t, that’s not how it’s going to work.’ I was like, ‘Damn!’” 

Costar Rose McGowan also tasted Tarantino’s controlling nature: “I couldn’t change the word ‘the’.” 

 

tarantino, if you do the research, is also a biiiig fan of using rape in many of his movies. i think its unnecessary, unless you are able to use it in a positive way.